United States Marines...

(USMC Charlie Company 4th LAR)

There is just something about a Marine that is different than a member of any of the other armed forces. I am not just saying this because my husband and brother, and many others, are in the Marine Corp. Even before Cory joined the Marines, and long before I met Jim, Marines have always stood out to me. Sure they are rough guys, but once you break through that, you will never find a more caring person. They carry their uniforms with a dominance, a Marine in uniform walks into the room, and heads turn. They are a disciplined group and it shows. The Marines I know do their job, not for the glory. not for the chance to be called a hero, but to serve their country. Jim and I had the discussion of what where he would be had we not met, his answer was simply, Afghanistan. I asked what he meant by that, he would have been injured and sent home just the same with or without me. This is when he stopped me, he looked at me and said,

"I would never have let this injury stop me from being out there with my guys, but I felt like I was needed here more, I didn't know why at the time, but when the Major asked me if I could perform my duties in full gear and if I would be able to be in a conflict zone, everything in my head told me to say yes. Then I thought of you and for some reason no is what came out of my mouth."

This conversation was just had last week. I could not be happier that he is here and safe, and able to share our pregnancy with me. Though it kills him to not be serving with his men. Marines have a commitment to one another that is like no other. They stand by each other and never leave each other behind. I always thought I'd marry a Marine. I had no idea I would marry one knowing that the chance of never seeing him again after the week we got married
would be very real. I knew going into the marriage that it would be months before I would see my new husband again, that was something we were both willing to do for our country. I never imagined that I would get him home a few months later with an injury and a broken heart for not being able to be with his men. Nothing can describe the look on Jim's face when people tell him they are happy he is home and not in Afghanistan. I am a selfish person and it was more than I could handle when I said goodbye to my husband, brother, and friend all in the same day, all leaving with the possibility of never returning. Troy and my brother Cory are still in Afghanistan and are serving in a "hot zone." These men are so great, they left everything behind and have to deal with what they are doing and the details and horrors of their missions alone. They cannot call home and talk about what is going on, they cannot unload they burdens onto other, for fear of the enemy tapping into the phone lines. Because Jim is here I get information that would otherwise be kept to the military only. Because these are his men and his brothers, he is given the information for the higher ups. What these men are going through is not a walk in the park. Many Americans believe that our men and women serving overseas aren't really doing anything. THEY ARE!! They are going through things that you and I could never imagine. When Jim and I first started dating he told me that his tour in Iraq was so easy and boring. The truth and horrors of things he went through are coming out daily as he recounts the stories to me. describing images that are still so vivid in his mind and still pull him from his sleep in terror. Those overseas serving now, are LIVING these terrors everyday. They wake up not knowing if it will be their last time waking up, but they put on their gear and go to work.They are a million times more brave then I am.

Thanks Cory, Troy, Chris, and Jordan and the rest of USMC Charlie Company, 4th LAR! Jim and I miss you all and love you! We can't wait for you to come home!

Golden Birthday...

So this Sunday is my golden birthday, 21 on the 21st, anyway because of my current state I am kinda getting the short end of the stick. It's not like I've ever celebrated my birthday before, but this one is kinda big. It sucks because not only is it on a Sunday, I am pregnant, and Jim has drill this weekend so he has to work, so we can't even really go do something fun together. I have a big family thing tonight, but that's just a dinner. Maybe I am being selfish but I wanted to go to Vegas or something for my 21st.

That being said, I have a brilliant idea that has received approval from everyone I've run it by. Next year I will be celebrating my 2nd-21st birthday! I think it's a grand idea, this will probably include a Vegas trip or some wicked sweet party! Until then, I will try to enjoy my real 21st birthday.

Have a great weekend!

Ya, Just Read This...

This morning as I was getting dressed, my loving husband came into the room looked at me and said,

"Well babe, you don't just look fat anymore. You can tell you're pregnant now."

Thanks Jim

Valentine's Day...

I have never really understood the concept of Valentine's day. Granted when I was a kid I loved making a box every year and passing out candy at school. Though since I've gotten older the thought of the day is rather ridiculous. I find it sad that we need a holiday to treat the people we love special and do something nice for them. Shouldn't that be an everyday thing? Not just once a year? Ya ya ya, it's fun and a nice excuse to take your sweetie out for a nice dinner and spend the day together, but I guess I just am confused as to why we need a reason to do that. Jim does little, and big, sweet things that are totally unexpected all of the time. Like send me two dozen roses on a random Wednesday with a card that says, "Just because I love you..." Or he wakes up early on days I have to work and he doesn't, just so he can sit and have breakfast with me. Or he sends me random text messages about how much he loves me and how happy he is to have me in his life. I guess I just take this all for granted because it's a daily thing for us, to let each other know how much we care and how grateful we are for one another.
Jim is probably the greatest thing to ever happen to this world, he goes along with my stupid ideas just because he knows I want to do it, even when I explain to him that I am well aware of how gay it is, he never tries to talk me out of it for his own sake. He just shakes his head, laughs, and says, "Let's go babe."
He will lay on the floor with me for 3 hours every night while I'm hooked up to an IV, most of the time I fall asleep, but he stays right there just because he knows I hate it when he's not close to me when he can be.
He cancels plans with his guys if I need something or if it makes me sad that he'll be gone all day.
He cleans my car, simply because he is cleaning his truck too.
He wakes up almost every time I move throughout the night to see if there is something he can do to make me more comfortable.
He tells other people not to eat my jelly bellies and otter pops.
He brings me an otter pop every time he gets one, and even if he doesn't get one, cause he just knows I won't turn one down.
He goes out of his way to find a solution to all of my concerns.
He always opens the door for me, and if I try to hold it open for him, he simply steps behind me and says, "Go ahead babe."
He mostly does the laundry, and the cooking. -- but that's only because we live with his parents right now and I'm not comfortable going through their cabinets.
Every time he finds a bad ass video on you tube, he comes and grabs me so we can bond over watching stoned people make idiots of themselves or listen to Gunther sing about his ta la la.
When I get cold he goes and gets a blanket for me and socks. and even puts my socks on for me, because I look so comfy he doesn't want me to have to move.
He decorated cookies with our nieces and I on Saturday, even though he previously told me, "It's a girl thing, I'll opt out."
His heartbreaks if I don't sit in the center seat, right next to him, when we are in the truck.
He's the best dad ever, and extremely attached to our little dude that it still swimming in water and breathing like a fish.
I catch him shopping for onesies online all of the time.
He eats all of my nerds and denies it when I ask him, only seconds later stating, You love me so it doesn't even matter babe.... I'll go buy you more.
Every time I have a "blond moment" he laughs hysterically and in between breaths exclaims how my absentmindedness makes him fall in love with me all over again.
He bought me a birthday present that makes me official, I know have a leather riding jacket. I'm officially a biker bitch, or ol' lady.
Sometimes I forget to put my ring back on after washing my hands in the morning, he'll just show up at my work with it.
He loves that I'm getting fat and thinks it's cute.
On that note, he freaks out and almost cries at every doctor appointment when we find out I've lost more weight - I'm just getting fat in my belly, everywhere else is shrinking.

I could go on forever with this list, but my point is, Valentine's Day is ridiculous. The kind of love we show other on February 14th is the kind of love we should show them all the time. Jim and I don't feel the need to celebrate Valentine's Day, we both agree that every day should be filled with love. So yesterday we just got up and ate Lucky Charms together, went to the mall in search of new jeans for me, ate dinner at my parent's and watch Son-in-Law together, Nothing out of the ordinary, just another day we spent together, enjoying each other's company.

P.S. This is a way longer post than I planned.

P.P.S. Don't tell Jim about this post, I don't want him knowing that I actually like him.

Happy Monday!

It's a...

BOY!!!

Julian James will be here sometime between the end of June and first part of July!

Anthropologie...

I just noticed that half the blogs I read have posted something about Anthropologie within the last few weeks. I just felt like I should get with the program.

P.S. The only "anthro" I care about is actual Anthropology, you know like, the study of human life and it's history.

Painful IV Flush...

Last night, just like every night, I sat on the couch while Jim prepared the saline flushes and drip for my IV. He knelt on the ground and attached the saline to my IV line and preceded to flush the line. He got about .5ml of saline into my arm before my reflexes kicked in and I yanked my arm back and kicked at him in pain. Jim's face went white as I started laughing uncontrollably at the shock of the pain and my reaction. Jim was still unsure of what had happened at this point so I gathered my control and told him that the flush hurt like mad, something was wrong with the IV. Though I have had this problem in the past, when the IV is a few days old, injecting stuff into it starts to sting, but nothing like what I felt last night, and the IV wasn't even 24 hours old.

Naturally, Jim and I though maybe it was just a fluke, so he tried to inject more saline, same thing, it hurt like mad. At this point we looked at my arm and the skin above the IV insertion point had a long red line, I can only assume that the vein had become swollen causing that irritation. So we called Joe, my awesome nurse and told him the situation, as Jim was talking to Joe, the inner side of my arm as well as my thumb and pointer finger went tingly, and then numb. Joe told Jim to sit tight and he'd come out after a couple of his patients.

My arm felt like it had something extremely heaving dropped on it, the pain did not ease at all. Joe showing up and looked at my arm and became rather puzzled. He saw the redness and came to the assumption that the IV must have torn out the side of my vein and the pain was from the saline being flush directly onto my muscle and nerves. The numbness may have been caused from my nerves going into shock from the saline solution.

Joe is an amazingly intelligent person and stated that he didn't even want to mess with that IV and just took it out and inserted a new one. I love Joe, so does Jim, he's so cool!

Anyway, today my arm still hurts pretty bad where the old IV was but the "good, not so good" news is that I won't have to deal with getting a new IV every 4 days anymore. I went to the doctor yesterday and I have lost more weight. I have dropped 15 pounds since getting pregnant and have not been able to get back up to my original weight, nor gain any weight at all.

I was honestly shocked when I stepped on the scale yesterday. I thought that I would've gained enough weight to be off the IV's.

However, now my doctor is getting more serious as this issue is becoming more and more serious. I am going to have a PICC line placed to see if injecting the medications directly to my heart will help me gain weight. Cross your fingers, If not, I have no idea what the next step is. Wish me luck!

Dear Lady GaGa...

If you were even somewhat normal and went by a name that didn't make me mad every time I heard it, I might actually listen to some of your music. Though due to your retarded alias and your horrid outfits, you just make me mad. You are not making any fashion statements, you just look dumb.
Please just be normal, and cease with the desperate cries for attention that you make through your appearance.

Sincerely,
Amber

P.S. GaGa just sounds like a little kid trying to say something.

It's so hard...

... to find crib bedding that isn't completely gay. Everything has dump animals or sail boats. or worse, Winnie the Pooh, all over it. Jim and I looked all over and couldn't find the bedding that we want, or anything close to it for that matter. So we got this brilliant idea that we would just ask his Aunt Judy to make it and choose our own material. It sounded like a great idea until we started pricing out fabric and trying to find patterns we like. Screw making it!
We've now been typing in the google searches like crazy trying to find something we both like and looks somewhat normal. The trouble now is that Jim fell in love with the fabric we picked out so no crib sets look remotely cool to him. I starting to change his mind though. I have found a few that I'd be willing to settle for. The funny thing is, I'm sure that once our baby is here. we're not going to care at all what it's bedding looks like. But until then, I will keep on with my search for the perfect bedding. Feel free to shout out any awesome websites you know of!

P.S. We find out of the February 9th what the gender of our little monkey is!